Holiday's are coming

So this time tomorrow we will be on route to Abu Dhabi airport to make the little over 8 hour journey back home.

Just for the 2 weeks Christmas break of course.

I have been counting down the days for weeks now.

I miss everyone so much.

My best bitches, my dad and siblings, my in-laws but most of all .... my mum!

My mum and I have a very close relationship. I have always seen her as my best friend.

Even through my teenage years, I was never afraid to run to my mum and tell her everything ... and she really did know everything about me.

I do not know what I would have done without a mum like her!

Being away from her (along with everybody else) has been incredibly hard so the thought of being able to see everyone again after 4 months, is so bloody exciting.

However ... I am also shitting myself!

With how I have been feeling in this messed up head of mine lately, I worry about the end of the 2 weeks in England when we have to fly away again.

I worry that saying goodbye again will make me sink.

I'm also nervous about seeing everyone. I don't feel happy about myself at the moment and stupid thoughts go through my head...

'What if everyone notices the amount of weight I've put on?'

'I haven't found a hairdresser here yet and my roots look terrible ... people will definitely judge me'

'My thoughts are being written on this blog, everyone's going to treat me differently after reading this'

See...this is what happens. Something positive is coming, I'm going home, but I still have all of this negativity in my head.

I cannot shake it and I fear it will ruin my time back home. I need to chill but the more I think about 'chilling', the more anxious I get ... the more the thoughts keep coming.

But I am hoping excitement trumps nerves and I can enjoy myself over these next couple of weeks, because I really have missed EVERYONE!

Just a short one today. Hopefully I'll have time for further entries over Christmas.