Yours Sincerely, Anxiety.

Good morning,

You seem in good spirits today, so I must crush that. Sorry, not sorry.

So I notice you didn't sleep so good again last night. That's ok, when your alarm goes off I will allow you to struggle to wake and you can keep snoozing until the last minute.

Ha, now you're running late, so um ... you can panic now.

Yep, with everything you have to do this morning, you wont have time to make yourself look pretty (if you can even call it that) so you best be prepared to do the school run looking like a tramp. Not that it's unusual for you! You really are ugly.

I know, let's just spend the next hour flustering and let me cling onto you until you realise you're not fit enough to do the school run this morning ... your husband can just have the car since you'll spend all day confined to your apartment again anyway.

Ok so you've sorted that problem, great! You're such a shit mother, never wanting to take your son to school.

You best make him the best packed lunch, whilst your head is pounding from lack of sleep and your eyes can barely functioned, oh and you realise that you need money to have food options in your fridge.

You really do suck today.

It's 7am and you've already smoked twice, you are disgusting. Don't you dare kiss your husband goodbye this morning with that mouth, he's definitely as disgusted by you as I am.

Right, this is what we have to do today, because your house is a disaster, just like you;

Wash up

Do at least, 2 loads of washing. Making sure both lots are dried and ready for ironing.

Clean the kitchen

Hoover and mop all of the apartment

Clean the bathrooms

Make the beds

You should really shower too, but what's the point, nothings going to help your looks right now and lets get real... you wont leave the house for the rest of the week!

You also need to interact with your son. He's bored because of you.

You never take him anywhere.

Why don't you do that, take him out. Actually no don't do that. Yes, yes you should.

NO, DON'T DO IT! You'll make a fool of yourself, you look awful, you're a terrible mother and you'll just end up back home within 30 minutes anyway.

Yeah, definitely don't bother. Just please, please, please remember that your parenting skills 100% suck!!

You're kids definitely hate you. They'd be better off without you.

So, now that we've sat and thought about today's plans, it's now lunchtime and you've wasted your whole morning doing ... absolutely nothing.

Let me guess, you've wasted at least half of that time playing a shitty game on your phone or singing with that crappy voice of yours?

You best get panicking then because you now only have what, 4 hours to sort this shit tip out before your husband gets home and realizes what a shitty housewife you are.

Great, now you're crying. What is wrong with you. There's definitely something wrong with you. You should worry about that for a minute or two.

Fuck, you didn't get anything out for dinner tonight, what the fuck are you going to do now?

Let me guess, take away? oven job? Your kids are going to end up fat, no wonder you already are.

Which brings me to my next point, you should really do something about that.

Ooo, maybe we could stop eating altogether? Wait, nope, you have no self control so that wont work.

Exercise? Haha, you don't have that kind of motivation. OH MY GOD, you're going to be like this forever. Fat, unhealthy, terrible skin. You're so flawed and we can't ever change that, EVER!

OK YOU CAN CRY. YOU'RE LIFE IS TERRIBLE, I'LL ALLOW YOU TO CRY.

Go wash those dishes now. You can put your music on to try and drown me out but I'll still be here ok? Just right behind you, please don't forget that I am right here. I'm not going anywhere.

And now your dancing, just because that one patronizing doctor who told you to dance instead of taking drugs opened her stupid mouth, doesn't mean you should take her advise. Stop, you're embarrassing ... yourself. It's not making you feel any better.

Oh, you did get something out for dinner. You're so forgetful. Shit, what if there's something wrong with your brain? Maybe you're dying.

Think about that whilst you chop the veg. Don't cut yourself will you? Please be careful.

Your youngest is calling you from the other room. You're doing it again, you're ignoring him! He needs attention and you don't have enough of it to give.

Maybe you should just leave your family. They'd be so much happier without your gloomy face around.

Your husbands coming home, wipe those tears away, freshen yourself up. You don't want him to see you like this.

Make sure to interact with your eldest as soon as he walks through the door. Ha, all he wanted to know was if he could go on the ipad, he doesn't want to talk to you.

Maybe he doesn't love you? Yep, you're definitely worthless, just leave.

Erm, Natasha, remember we have a routine set-up for after school. Its been 40 minutes and you've not stuck to it.

You're kid is still in his uniform, he hasn't done any homework, and neither of them have a drink. You really need to sort yourself out.

DON'T ask your husband for help right now, he'll sense you're weak and he'll resent you for it.

Fuck the routine, it's not like the rest of your life is in order anyway. Just don't burn the dinner.

Eugh, does this even taste right? is there enough on your husbands & kids plates? You best offer them the rest of yours.

And now you feel sick, are you pregnant? are you dying? somethings going on? Surely it's not that you haven't eaten all day and your stomach is screaming for food, is it?

No time for fun and games now, oh wait, your smoking again, god you're disgusting. Picture that smoke going down your throat and into your lungs. I can see the cancer forming in your chest. You WILL definitely die young, no doubt about it.

And then what? what will happen to your children & husband. What will they do without you? WAIT... They'll be fine, you suck, they'll be better off. Just keep smoking, I'll remind you in an hour that you smoke.

So, your kids are in bed and your husband is sitting on the opposite sofa right now. Maybe he doesn't want to be near you?

He knows that if he talks to you, you'll moan about something, probably about your shitty existence! He's going to leave you one of these days, and I don't blame him ... you know I'm right.

I'll be quite now, you've fallen asleep on the sofa and I like you to think that you're about to get the best sleep you've had in a long time.

...

WAKE UP! You can't sleep on the sofa all night, go to bed!

Comfy? nope, you're head hurts, your neck hurts, your teeth hurt ... probably because we didn't brush them today. What's the point.

Oh god, they're going to fall out.

Just like your hair ... I noticed it's getting thinner and I'm pretty sure its looking patchy. You're going bald ... 26 and bald, that's just great. Will really suit your face ... not.

Now your stomachs hurting, you should go see a gynecologist, because I am pretty sure you're showing all the signs for cervical cancer. I hope you didn't want any more kids because they're going to remove your womb.

Did you turn the oven off?

Did you put the litter tray in the room for the cat?

Is that someone breaking into the house?

What if someone came in to hold you all hostage?

What if you got into a car accident with your children?

Do you think you're husband is going to leave you?

What if you left?

Eugh I can smell you from here, you really should have showered today!

Do your eyes hurt? you should try to sleep. You've got to tackle this again tomorrow and we all know how you function in general, let alone on very little sleep.

Yours Sincerely,

Anxiety.