It's Been A While.

*As a starting point I've noticed from comments, and direct messages from my readers that some of you are reading new posts and not realizing that there is a timeline of published entries if you scroll down further ... for those asking questions, you may find the answers in my older blogs.

Although don't let that put you off from messaging me. It's incredibly humbling to receive so much love & support from you all directly so keep doing what you're doing*

So it's been a while since I've posted, it's also been an emotional rollercoaster lately.

We have just finished our 2 week Spring Break.

The weeks leading up to the holiday were pretty bleak to be honest. I was not in a good place.

My head didn't know what it was doing and my heart was dam confused and pissed off with my head.

Serious contemplations of going home to the UK were floating around, until the realization of that not working coming into play.

I am unhappy right now, there's no lie there, but would I really be any happier back home?

We've had a lot of shit since being here, and yes that hasn't helped my emotions but going back home would just invite new problems and new obstacles to overcome.

The last 2 weeks have been wonderful.

2 weeks with all 3 of my boys at home (Kids & Husband), plus we've had visitors.

So let's not make this post a negative one, for once, I'm going to actually blog about what we've been up to as a family.

The Spring Break started with some close friends of ours visiting for a few days after they enjoyed themselves in Dubai first.

Our eldest wanted to take them to all of his favorite places (basically the same places we have had to take all visitors)

We visited the local zoo ... which we find absolutely incredible. DHS30 for an adult, which works out roughly around 7GBP. Considering a Zoo in England can set you back around 25GBP for entry, that's pretty awesome and this Zoo in Al Ain is NOT small.

We've been so many times since being here, it's probably one of our favorite places.

We took our visitors up the mountain, Jebel Hafeet, where we used The Grand Mecure's hotel swimming pool and stopped on the way back down to take in the views.

We attempted to venture into the desert during a sand storm ... note to all planning on doing this ... don't freshly do your makeup and then visit the sands in a sand storm (unless you want a new foundation called 'sand')

After they flew back home, we had a few days to ourselves. We had a few PJ days, arcade afternoons in the malls and just chilled before the arrival of my mum.

Oh and a trip to Fujairah for a beach day that resulted in sunburn and a handprint tan line on my hip! (error)...

It was great to see mum and I was incredibly proud of her to have the courage to leave my brothers & sisters home so she could have some time in the sun with us.

We did all the usual things, again. Zoo, mountain views, Dubai day, desert (note to all ... do not go onto the desert sands after 10am this time of year ... our poor feet lasted all of 2 minutes ... error.)

Saying goodbye was not fun. Unfortunately, the same with all our visitors, mum only stayed 6 days so by the time it came to her leaving last night, it felt like she'd only been with us a day.

It took me at least an hour for it to sink in that she had gone. With Adam, driving her to the airport and the boys in bed, everything suddenly felt very quiet and that's how it felt today.

However, I've picked myself up and realized It's only just over 6 weeks before me and the kids fly back to the UK, with Adam following 4 weeks later, for our just over 3 month summer visit :)

Today I have felt positive.

I've decided that if I'm living here, if I'm now a stay at home mum then I need to get on with it, get over it and do something about it.

This positivity may not last forever, it may not last for long, but for now it's here.

Today I've started writing lists, giving myself jobs to do during the day instead of tackling a mountain of everything and then hating myself for not achieving that mountain of chores.

I've started an exercise plan to wake me up in the morning and to help me learn to love my body.

I'm keeping track of how much I'm smoking in the hope that I will one day pack up once again.

(However I'm not forcing this on myself right now as this is my one release, and I don't care how stupid that sounds)

This post feels like it's coming to and end now with no real reason for typing and no real conclusion but hey ... I made the effort to open up my laptop and entertain you with what's been going on lately and why I've been so quiet.

Things are soon to change this end, with the hope of moving to a better/bigger apartment very soon so fingers crossed for me that this goes quickly & smoothly please.

Quick note ... I'm working on a Facebook page to link to this blog as an easier way to update everyone when I've posted.

So .... anyway ... keep the feedback coming. I love to hear from you with your experiences or advise and it's great to see just how many readers I have!

Love to all.

#depression #positivity #family #friends #springbreak #holiday